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Michael
Payne, designer and host of HGTV's “Designing for the Sexes” may
live in California but he's a big fan of Long Island. And Long Islanders
have no trouble identifying Payne.
Check this out: Payne was in Penn Station, walking along
the platform to board a Port Jefferson-bound train, when a rather rough-and-ready-looking
engineer leaned out the window and shouted, “Hey, aren't you Michael
Payne?” Payne replied that yes, indeed he was, and before he knew
it, found himself with a front-row seat to Port Jeff while giving the
engineer a private design consultation.
“This guy was at odds over what to do about his
master bedroom,” says Payne, who is also the author of Let's Ask
Michael: 100 Practical Solutions for Interior Design Challenges. “His
wife was very insistent on having it be incredibly feminine, with lots
of lace and frills. Although he didn't mind some feminine touches, he
saw this as way over the top and wasn't comfortable with it at all.”
Payne's experience just goes to show that even men who
don't watch “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” or know the meaning
of the word “metrosexual” have no qualms about voicing their
opinions on home decorating. Gone are the days when the man handled renovating
and the woman decorated. Nowadays both men and women are happily taking
sledgehammers to walls and shopping for dinettes together. But working
as a team rather than delegating can all too often lead to a design impasse.
The trouble begins when he wants a simple platform bed,
a leather club chair, window shades (or no window treatments at all) and
an ultra-cool flat-screen TV while she longs for ornately carved antiques,
beaded throw pillows, a rolled-arm sofa and windows layered with scarves
and swags. Let's face it, we still have our gender differences when it
comes to décor.
So what appeals to men vs. women? Men often prefer a
simplistic, even minimal look, says Payne. “They don't have a penchant
for ornamentation.” Styles like Mission, Mid-Century Modern, and
Colonial appeal to men. They often love leather sofas and chairs as much
as their leather jackets.
Men tend to focus on the overall look of the room. For
women—let's just say that God is in the details. Styles like Victorian
and Queen Anne, with rolled arms and detailed carvings, as well as fabrics
in stripes, plaids and toiles fall into female territory.
Women are also more comfortable mixing styles and patterns.
“Many women love to experiment by mixing things like plaids and stripes,”
says Payne. “For men, this can become a visual maze that translates
into chaos. I have found most men are perfectly happy with plain fabrics
in solid colors.”
So how do you find decorating common ground? Payne offers
these tips:
Put function before form: Start by determining
the purpose of the room. Will it be a formal room used for entertaining
that's off limits to kids and pets? Or a casual room that you can put
up your feet and relax in that will need to withstand wear and tear? A
realistic room assessment will make it easier to decide on a suitable
style and budget.
Find a style: Look through decorating books and
magazines, mark photos of rooms and products you like, then see what your
partner has chosen. You may be surprised to learn you both like certain
styles, colors, or textures.
Choose a color scheme: A winning color combination
works wonders when it comes to pulling together a room. Payne suggests
pulling colors from an item you love that will be used in the room, such
as a vase or painting. Decorative fabrics are also great starting points.
After all, “it is the job of fabric designers to put together exquisite
blendings of colors,” he says.
If you really can't find a color in common, stick with
neutral tones for large areas like floors, walls, window treatments and
bedding; then add splashes of color in accent pieces.
Contain clutter: What do you need to store in
the room? Books? CDs? Knickknacks? Decide which items will be on display
and which will be hidden behind closed doors. If one person is a collector,
don't let the collection take over every available inch of shelf space,
says Payne. Housing the collection in a cabinet with cabinet lighting
will showcase items while keeping them from overflowing into the rest
of the room.
Know when to get help: Most of us appreciate great
design; not all of us have the knack for creating it. If you're really
stuck, get advice from an interior designer. Even a consultation can leave
you with great ideas.
Finally, you can't go wrong as long as you and your partner
communicate, compromise, and be realistic. “It's about finding that
middle ground,” says Payne, “where the room may not be exactly
what you each wanted, but both of you are happy with it.”
One of the most heated arguments for couples centers
around that electronic hearth, the TV. Typically, he wants to display
it; she may see it as an eyesore. To make matters more complicated, other
electronic components, such as VCR's, DVD and CD players, gaming consoles,
computers and music systems, are invading the home in record numbers.
According to Michael Payne, no matter how much you love
your electronics (and plenty of women do, too) turned-off TVs and other
components aren't the most attractive items to look at. He suggests opting
for an armoire to house electronics so they're easily accessible yet hidden
from view when not in use. Or go for a flat-screen plasma or LCD model
that takes up less space than a traditional TV and can be mounted on a
stand or on the wall (you can still put your flat-screen TV in an armoire
if you don't find it aesthetically pleasing).
Remember that electronic items, even flat-screens, are
not wireless. If you can, run the wires behind the drywall so you won't
have to look at them.
And make sure you have enough outlets. Consult an electrician
as to whether you'll need to put the room on a dedicated circuit so that
you don't blow a fuse when you run multiple items.
Reprinted from @Home Long Island magazine, Winter/spring 2005. Copyright© all text 2005 by Ela Schwartz